


Silence and Shadow

by Kagemihari (soracia)



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Reality, Angst, Comment Fic, Disability, Fluff, Get Together, M/M, Romance, Slash, Unresolved Sexual Tension, WAFF, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2008-08-14
Updated: 2008-08-13
Packaged: 2017-10-24 09:29:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/261806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soracia/pseuds/Kagemihari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p> Kame is a professional baseball player recovering in the hospital after he has gone blind from a head injury, when he gets a new roommate - the famous idol Akanishi Jin, who wakes up with a hearing loss after an accident during a performance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silence and Shadow

**Author's Note:**

> First posted [here](http://tinybars.livejournal.com/17787.html?thread=2142843#t2142843) on the Akame comment fic meme. WIP still unfinished, new parts will be added eventually. This is part one of...a lot. XD

He's not sure how he can tell, but he knows when it's light out, the room is bright and warm. He can't see - he'll never see anything again, but somehow he can feel it.

His bed is near the window, and daylight wakes him, warm against his skin. Kame stretches, purring softly to himself like a cat, and curls up again in the warmth. Sunlight never used to feel so warm before.

Today is going to be interesting, he knows. Such days are rare enough in this place that he is grateful, for the distraction, the interruption of the endless sameness of his life.

For three months he has been here, and they say he will be released soon, but soon is a relative term, and he's not sure that out there won't be worse than it is in here.

At least, in here, he knows what to expect. Quiet hospital sounds and sanitized hospital smells, nothing forcing him to react to something unknown without the benefit of sight.

Still, he is grateful. And curious, perhaps, he will admit to curiosity. He is to get a roommate today, and while that has the potential for relieving the boredom for days on end, it also brings with it a myriad of variables that currently have no place in the peaceful equation of his life.

He should be a little more worried about that, he knows, but the challenge of it and the possibility of it are too irresistible for him to care. Something new, something interesting, something will change. Nothing ever changes in here, though he's told that he is steadily improving. No amount of improvement can restore his sight, though, and he is fairly disgusted by such minor accomplishments as being able to sit up again, being allowed to walk for short distances, across the room and back, without getting dizzy and sick.

Fairly disgusted with himself for being so relieved and delighted with them, such small steps, yet so much effort to attain. He's never worked this hard in his life before, and for so little. So little, to feel like so much.

He's had to learn to memorize the paces, exactly how many steps from here to there, where everything is in relation to himself. To keep a map in his head at all times, the simple layout of the room. He's had to learn so many things, how to creatively solve the challenges of his lack of sight, how to force his remaining senses into making up for the lack of it.

He's heard – everyone's heard, everyone knows – Akanishi Jin is being moved into this room later today. Kame has gotten good at picking up the stray bits of gossip from the nurses' chatter. People seem to forget around him that while he can no longer see, his hearing is sharper than ever. He's found it useful not to go out of his way reminding anyone of this.

Akanishi's injury and progress were a very much talked about topic, many of the nurses being fans of the famous idol, and Kame could listen and not have to admit to anyone other than himself that he had, perhaps, just as much interest.

He knew Akanishi's face, of course, everyone did, knew the proud lines of arrogance and beauty, remembered well the fascinating image of him, and allowed himself only a brief pang of regret – well, perhaps more than one – that he'd never be able to see that face in person. Akanishi Jin was going to be his roommate, and yet he'd never get to see him face to face. Some minor cruel god of fate must be appreciating the irony, Kame decided.

He would admit, if only to himself, that he'd been something of a fan, back when he'd had a life with the leisure to pay attention to such things. He might even admit, only to himself, that he was just a little bit excited and a little bit nervous about having such a famous roommate. Some would say that Kame was rather well known himself, having been something of a star on the national level baseball team, but he was quite aware that an idol was a different matter altogether.

Fascinating, mysterious – sexy as hell, not that Kame was admitting that to anyone, perhaps not even to himself.

Not that Akanishi was likely to be much company anytime soon.

He'd regained consciousness just briefly the night before, but his condition had stabilized enough for him to be moved into a regular room, and the hospital apparently preferred to keep their celebrities, major and minor both, in the same location. Kame considered himself quite a minor celebrity indeed; Akanishi wasn't likely to know who he was, unless he was a baseball fan, which Kame severely doubted.

But all the same, it was going to be an interesting day. The most excitement he'd had in months, really,

He couldn't help quite looking forward to it.

~*~

When Jin woke up, the world was white and still and silent, and he had a vicious headache. He reached up instinctively to rub it, startled when his fingers encountered gauze and tape rather than his own soft hair – bandages on his head.

That explained the headache, but very little else. A grimace of confusion produced a flash of pain, and he sucked his breath in sharply, waiting for it to pass. His fingers travelled lower then to find more bandages on his face, and he suppressed a shudder. He probably looked like a mummy or some other creepy thing out of a horror movie. The skin on his face felt tight and hot and strange, and he struggled not to wince. Keeping a blank expression shouldn't be so hard.

Groaning then, he rolled onto his side and looked around blearily, willing the room to come into focus. Hospital, obviously, and he was unsurprised. He had a blurry recollection of waking briefly in emergency care, people leaning over him with looks of concern and grim determination.

All he remembered from then was pain, a bewildered glimpse of a blurred world before it had all faded into darkness again.

His current surroundings gradually resolved themselves into a clean white hospital room, another bed on the other side and a bright window beyond. The light hurt his eyes, and he screwed them shut again, noting absently as he did so that the other bed was occupied.

For a minute his memory seemed blank, unable to recall anything prior to that brief blur of pain the night before – where he'd been, what had happened... when he frowned, the sharp slash of pain distracted him from his thoughts, but it seemed to clear his head.

He remembered the concert, the crowds, the performance going well until the stupid stunt where he was supposed to jump down from a raised platform and land with a flash and a bang and a billow of smoke, to step through it to make his entrance for the next number.

There had been a flash and bang alright, but it had been deafeningly loud, much louder than it should have been, and the blast had thrown him back, sending him crashing into the set behind him, and all he remembered was being blinded by the flash and the roar of the explosion that seemed to go on and on inside his head. The set crashing around him as he fell, bright flares of pain from seemingly every part of his body, then a final explosion of agony as his head cracked sickeningly against the floor, and everything went black.

Something had obviously gone very, seriously wrong.

Now he opened his eyes again, squinting against the light, and dragged himself into a sitting position, swallowing hard against the sudden roll of nausea. His ears were still roaring softly with a sound of white noise, and he rubbed them irritably, annoyed.

"What the fuck," he muttered, or tried to. His voice didn't seem to be working. He cleared his throat and tried again, louder.

"What the fuck?" He could feel the way his mouth shaped the words, the vibration in his throat, he was speaking out loud but he couldn't hear the words. Couldn't hear anything at all, he realised suddenly, not the rustling of the crisp hospital sheets as he moved, not the soft hum of the monitors beside his bed, not his own voice. Not anything.

Suddenly panicked, he rubbed his ears harder, trying to brush away the stupid rushing in them as he strained to hear past it, anything at all. There was nothing.

"What the hell is going on?" he shouted, hating the feeling of being wrapped in cotton, a soundless cocoon of surreality as the room suddenly seemed very far away, his vision going dark and narrowing down to a glimpse of whiteness at the end of a tunnel, flailing as he tried to get free of the bed and the various wires and tubes, needing suddenly to get away and go find someone who could explain, someone who could assure him that there was a reason why the world had suddenly gone silent, and tell him when it was going to be over.

Hands flailing back at him brought him up short, jerking back a little as one nearly hit him in the face, but he caught one of them and gripped it like a lifeline, focusing desperately on the person at the other end, opening his mouth to demand more answers - and then just staring slack-jawed as the words died and he forgot to close it again. Wow. Maybe he died and went to heaven, because that sure looked like an angel.

His roommate, of course, it must be. "Who the hell are you?" he blurted, suddenly needing intensely to know, and then panicking again at the utter weirdness of feeling himself speak without being able to hear it. His fingers tightened in a death grip on the slender hand in his own, his gaze latching onto the beautiful face like an anchor, seeing his lips move but again, unable to hear it.

"I can't hear you," he informed the other man with a shake of his head, trying not to sound too anxious and desperate and failing rather miserably. "I can't... hear anything."

Someone needed to explain in about five seconds or he was going to freak the hell out. This was way too weird.

~*~

Kame wasn't entirely sure what had possessed him to go over and try to help when Akanishi started shouting and flailing around, except that he could tell the other man was trying to get up and he was pretty sure that was a bad thing right now. They didn't even know what the full extent of his injuries were yet, and Kame knew he wasn't supposed to be getting up.

It wasn't actual thought that had jolted him into action though, climbing off his own bed and making his careful way toward the other – he didn't have the steps memorized for this one, never having needed to go this way before, and he held his hands out in front of him to make sure he didn't run into anything, sighing with relief when one of them was caught. More than anything it was the panic and distress in that beautiful voice that had him reaching out and trying to soothe before he even knew what he was doing.

That Akanishi didn't seem to be listening to him he put down at first to panic and the fact that Kame was obviously not a doctor, but it didn't occur to him that Akanishi literally couldn't hear him, until he said so.

"You can't hear me," he muttered after Akanishi explained. "Great, just great." Sign language was no good when Kame couldn't see, and he had no idea what to do but he'd better think of something because along with the crushing desperate grip on his hand, he could feel the other man vibrating with tension and barely controlled panic, about to lose it in a serious way.

"It's alright," he mumbled, "you're going to be alright," knowing that Akanishi couldn't hear him but unable to help himself, soothing words tumbling out of him as he thought frantically and wished someone who was in way better shape than either of them would come in to help. His free hand fluttered up to find Jin's face, coming to rest on his cheek and stroking comfortingly, imagining the beautiful skin beneath his fingers.

Surprisingly that seemed to help, as Jin relaxed into his touch, just a little, and Kame was endlessly relieved when he heard the hospital staff coming in a few minutes later.

He moved back, trying to edge out of the way, praying he didn't run into anything and then stopping short, realising bemusedly that Akanishi Jin was still holding his hand. He stared sightlessly, helplessly, not sure what to do. It was too strong a grip for Kame to pull out of, even if he wanted to, which strangely he didn't.

"I'm sorry," he apologized to whoever was nearby. "He won't let go. He's scared, I think... he said he can't hear anything." God knew it was scary waking up and finding one of your senses just... gone, with no explanation. Kame knew a little too much about that.

"Stay close then," someone told him with a pat on the shoulder, and he got the impression that several people had left the room. Whoever was left – the doctor, probably, maybe an assistant – were doing some tests and trying to communicate with Jin some other way – writing, probably. Kame hoped they remembered that Akanishi couldn't read kanji.

And he stayed close, hovering at the side and letting Jin keep his hand. What else was he going to do but stay close? Jin wasn't letting him go anywhere. It would have been... really nice, if it wasn't for the fact that Jin's grip was way too tight and Kame thought he was probably going to have bruises. Absurdly, the thought made him smile, because every time he so much as shifted, Jin panicked and held on tighter.

Yeah, it was kind of nice.

~*~

Jin was frustrated as hell, hanging on to his temper and possibly his sanity by the slimmest of threads, perhaps only by means of his grip on the hand that had rescued him. It was irrational, of course, to think of it that way, but at the same time it felt like his only anchor and damn right he didn't mean to let go.

The more people crowded in around him, talking among themselves and doing all manner of things that normally made sounds, were supposed to make sounds and now, inexplicably didn't, the more he felt as if he'd fallen into some weird sort of twilight zone. He felt disoriented every time he watched someone speaking, every time things moved and he knew there should have been a clink or a thunk or a rustle or what the hell ever... he kept waiting for it and it didn't happen and _he couldn't get used to it._ It was jarring, every single time.

He wanted them all to leave, didn't want to read whatever they were trying to write because this was totally going to be over soon, he was going to wake up and everything would be normal again, and they could just tell him whatever they wanted to say. He kept his mouth clamped stubbornly shut for a while, because he'd already tried yelling at them and that was even more unnerving than watching them talk.

It was somehow worse, the realisation that however little sense he was making, they could hear _him_ , he was the only one who was suffering from this bizarre and random deprivation of sound, and somehow that was just infuriating and frustrating and he wanted the whole damn thing to go away.

Unless that meant he was going to lose his pretty roommate, too, he realised belatedly when the doctors and nurses actually did leave. They'd given up on trying to communicate with him for now, and he had the vague feeling they'd been talking to his roommate while he glared sullenly at the boring tile floor. Now they were leaving, and he looked up, suddenly worried, seizing the other man's arm with his other hand just to make sure he didn't go anywhere.

Jin couldn't explain why he wanted so badly for him to stay, but he felt like it was the only thing holding him together.

"Don't go!" he insisted, resorting to speech even though he hated the way it felt. "Please stay. Please." In the back of his mind he was grateful that he couldn't hear how pathetic and desperate he sounded at the moment, begging a perfect stranger to stay and hold his hand.

All kinds of relief uncurled in his gut when the pretty stranger only smiled, reassuringly if a bit strained, and reached up to touch his face again. Jin felt like he was melting, eyes fluttering closed as he leaned into the touch, and he had no idea why he suddenly felt so safe.

~*~

Kame sighed in relief as Jin's grip on his hand finally loosened, apparently enough reassured by Kame's closeness to relax a little. In his turn, he eased a bit closer, hoping to reassure a little more, sitting on the edge of the bed and sliding his fingers up into Jin's soft hair, carding gently through it and stroking softly, sighing again as he wondered what the hell he was doing, and why this felt so good.

He really needed to remember that Jin was way out of his league, and only depending on him for the moment because of a freak accident... it couldn't last. He liked it, though, a little too much, the warmth and the closeness and the way Jin's scent hovered around him and made his heart beat too fast. He decided it might be a good thing he couldn't see, because even his mental image of Jin was almost too much when he was this close.

"Shhh," he murmured, unable to help the reflex of talking even though he knew Jin couldn't hear it, murmuring soft soothing nonsense as he stroked Jin's hair and squeezed his hand, leaning close, allowing Jin to rest his head on his shoulder and trying not to shiver with how completely warm and just damn good it felt.

It was a little as if he'd fallen into a twilight zone of his own, where someone so beautiful and desirable and talented took a second look at him.

Then again, it wasn't exactly as if he could see at the moment, but somehow that made the way Jin was clinging to him mean all the more. Too much, maybe, if he was honest with himself. He knew perfectly well it was situational, circumstantial, had nothing really to do with him at all, but he was feeling rather... stupidly protective of the other man. It was ludicrous to think that he, in this state, could protect anyone, and almost as silly to think Jin would need it. But he did seem to need it, just now, and Kame was finding it rather irresistible.

He sighed and let himself place a soft kiss on Jin's rumpled hair. Such gorgeous hair, he remembered it being, and it felt as good as he'd always dreamed it would.

"What am I going to do with you?" he murmured, mostly to himself. Something about this was far too easy, temptingly, frighteningly easy, and he wanted so badly to just go with it, to take whatever was offered and just...

His thoughts abruptly derailed as Jin turned into him a little more and finally let go of his hand, only to wrap both arms around his waist, tight and... possessive. Kame nearly groaned; the last thing he needed was Jin feeding his fantasies like this. But he didn't pull away, didn't push against the tight hold even though he knew he should. Somehow, it felt too damn good.

He was probably going to hate himself later, but he couldn't let go now if his life depended on it. Fortunately, it didn't. He let Jin pull him closer until they were both reclining against Jin's ridiculous lot of pillows, fairly snuggling and Kame ruthlessly turned his brain off, refusing to think about it. Jin needed him, needed someone anyway, and if Kame could help him through this traumatic experience then it didn't matter what the cost was to him personally. Really.

And he told himself that made up for taking full advantage of it while he could, curling into Jin's warmth and holding on too, closing his eyes and his mind and just pretending, for the moment, that this could last forever.

~*~

When the nurse came in to check on Jin an hour later, she found them curled up together on Jin's bed, both sleeping, seemingly exhausted, and clinging to each other like lost children.

It was the most adorable thing she'd ever seen, and she ran quickly to find the other nurses on duty at the moment, dragging them back to come and see their two famous patients lying wrapped in each others arms and sleeping sounder than either of them had any right to when they were scrunched up together in a bed that was only meant to hold one person.

The little knot of nurses cooed and giggled and lingered for as long as they could get away with, watching and whispering among themselves, awwwing over the cuteness and how sad it was what had happened to them, and how terrible that it might be both of them that never fully recovered their lost senses.

Finally, reluctantly they began to disperse, going on to their regular duties but still often stopping by the room to peek in again at the sight that never failed to bring a soft, delighted smile to the face of any onlookers. It was just so _adorable_.

Each and every nurse thanked their lucky stars that they'd been assigned to this ward and working today and managed to see what hundreds of thousands of fangirls would give their right arm for a chance to glimpse at.

Nobody had the heart to disturb them, even if it was technically against the rules. It was just too goddamned cute. The two of them slept on, completely comfortable and unawares, late into the afternoon.


End file.
